I'm so confused...

*Sigh* I don't know what's going on with Him and me anymore. We went to the movies today, first time hanging out since all that crap happened. He told me last night that he's going to take time off from relationships, and he keeps saying stuff like 'relationships suck' and 'i'm so done with them', but when he went to go get popcorn and soda for himself, after I said I didn't want anything, he came back talking about how everyone asked if he brought someone along to the movie, and when he said yea, he was on a date with me (WTF?!), they gave him a hard time and were teasing him. So can someone explain to me what just happened? Cause I don't understand the intricacies of the teenage male.

Why don't you tell her? Why don't you let her see the feelings that you hide?

I finally started unpacking some of the boxes in my room and found my cd's. One of them, of course, was Jesse McCartney's cd Beautiful Soul, and I had never actually listened to the entire cd before, or put it on my iPod for that matter, but I wanted to add the song Beautiful Soul to my iPod so I thought "Hey, might as well listen to the rest. See if I like any of the other songs". Wow... It's all I gotta say. His song 'Why Don't You Kiss Her' is a really good song to listen to when I'm in this kind of mood. I've forgiven him for his crap (again), {but I haven't told him yet...} and I'm feeling all... Bubbly and giggly again =). *Sigh* I feel better. Happy =)

Old Idea- New Me

I'm kinda tired of crying, tired of being depressed but acting like I'm not, tired of smiling but no one be able to tell something's wrong. So I've decided I'm gonna post a song of the day that shows how I'm feeling every couple of days. Maybe that will make me feel a little better and not so much like... 'Why do I let him treat me like this, get upset, then go back to him'. Today's song shall be 'The Way I Loved You' by Taylor Swift. Because that's how it is, Guy 1 is the perfect gentleman, and he's a really great guy to date, and yet I still like Guy 2 and I don't want to date Guy 1, and even though he always makes me upset, I like the arguments and the fights and the "I hate you"s more than the holding the door open, paying for everything, and "let me carry that for you"s.

Mixed reviews

Got my hair done. The hair dresser and her assistant thought I was between 12 and 14. Haha I'm always told that. Got my senior pictures taken today. I apparently have got a gorgeous smile and light blue boas are a good color on me. lol And then we went to say hi to my Tita Ces and her son Ty, the baby who's picture's my backround on my phone. =) He's close to 7 months now and he's so adorable! He's got the cutest smile and giggles. And then we came home and I got a text. There's gonna be a group movie date at our local movie theater with all my friends. Josh works there so he makes all the plans. But then he texted me that he's already got a date (Steph set him up with one of her friends). So I told him "well that's good, I wasn't planning on asking you anyway" (even though I was). But then I saw Steph online of fb, so I told her what happened last night. How after she went home he was flirting with me, and had his arms around me like a boyfriend would his girlfriend, and how he kicked everyone out so we could watch a movie together. then we started kissing and cuddling and playing with eachothers fingers, and then he walked me home and gave me a good night kiss on my front porch. But of course, he's still going to date Steph's friend! Can't forget that!! I asked him why he did that, and he said he got caught up in the moment and that it wasn't fair to me, so I told him "no. it wasn't. so please refrain from treating me like the secretary yo're doing behind your wife's back". And now I'm not going to his 18th surprise party and i'm not going on the movie date... And i've lost my best friend. So now I'm listening to Reba McEntire's song Consider Me Gone on repeat...

FUDGE!!! i'm SO tired of packing!!!!

"You didn't help" "I did everything" "You guys need to actually get off your butts and HELP with something". I'm SO friggin tired of hearing that!!!! DAMN!!!! I packed up my entire room without you. I carried all of the boxes downstairs to James, and he and I both helped YOU when you were sitting on YOUR butt, by carrying the boxes down to where they needed to be. And we put all of the boxes and furniture in the truck today. WE DID STUFF!!!! WE HELPED! SO QUIT SAYING WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!

He likes me as I am!

So while on my little field trip to look for apartments to live in back home, I realized during my 3 guy, all want to date me, all guy's i've known for a while, love triangle (well really it's a triangle with me in the middle) that of all of them, the only one who I KNOW will deal with my constant mood swings, stay in bed because i'm depressed that day, weird episodes is the one who broke my heart in the first place. He likes me as I am, not how I act around others to have people like me. He doesn't try to change me, he respects my prefrences to not do anything physical besides hold hands, and well... Miley Cyrus describes it well in her song As I Am

DUMBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So you know this oil spill that's killing the ecosystem in the gulf? Did you know the company has this GREAT idea to drill a hole into a different part of the pipe to pump sand and cement in to stop the oil flow? But they won't be done with it til August. YEA! The hole that's there now is only releasing 25-45% of the oil, but if they drill a hole, it'll release 100% through THAT hole!! I know i don't pay attention in my classes, and i'm only a 17 yr old junior in high school, but I can come up with a better idea than these stupid people!!

I'll miss you!!!

Although I'm glad to be moving home, I think I'll miss it here. Not the weather, or the place itself, but the people. And not even ALL of the people, just my friends at school.

I'm gonna miss Audrey, and her silly actions (like the locker! lol)
I'm gonna miss Becka, and how amazingly weird she is.
I'm gonna miss Amy, and how, when I first got here, she invited me to be her friend, simply because we had theater in common.
I'm gonna miss Cassie, and how even though we didn't know each other long, we soon bonded over our mutual hate of our math and chemistry teachers.
I'm gonna miss Saia, and how nice he was to me when I first met him at registration and again during OUM simply because I was a new student.
And I'm gonna miss the rest of my theater friends who let me in on their inner world of East High Drama.

And even though I missed an entire year at CVHS, I know that I'm gonna get back in the swing of things. I'll make it shine! =)